jar of flies: 25 years later

25 years eh? It feels like only yesterday that this album was on heavy rotation in my teenage bedroom. I never knew my soul had such depths until this album. I never knew other people's souls were so immense either. That someone else could connect to these deep dark crevices of my soul...

As I listen to this on the stereo this AM, I remember how much this brief album (an ep if you must) meant to me. And all these years later, the chords still strike deep in my older frame, resonating such truth, such sorrow, such pain, yet such fleeting hope trying to find the light. The majestic and defiant I Stay Away!! Man.

And obviously we know in the end poor Layne never found that hope. Such an ugly tragedy. But he and his wizard brethren (who continue on with their magic) left this collection of spells behind to help us all through whatever darkness we face. And I must say, it has keep me going at the worst of times many times in my life.

Nutshell is a prayer that instantly connects with God, no matter which one you pray to. It is sacred to me. With overcast pacific northwest winter skies above me, I think back through my life, those heavy moments where it made no sense, when the will to continue on was just too much, when I was alone, and in retrospect as I realize now, I never was alone in the fight. And I made this far.

The same can't be said for some...like Layne. But I hope his spirit is out there somewhere getting the redemption he never recieved on this mortal coil, as he left these spells behind for the rest of us.

These spells, this compact work of mighty art, it has literally saved lives.

I know for a fact, it saved mine.

Alice in Chains will forever hold a significant place in my heart, my soul and my future.